Being single in a huge city. You'd expect to find a significant other faster, right???Surprisingly, it's hard as hell to find a good man in such a place. I guess, it's a problem with any overpopulated city. There are too many female and male singles to choose from that the selection process becomes highly competitive. Of course, there are men out there, but not the type of men you'd want to find yourself in a relationship in. Personally, I am trying to steer clear of men (in a non-lesbo manner)for awhile. Basically, I don't need any complications right now. I'm in no hurry to run into a relationship any time soon, but here are a few standards I will abide by when I decide it is time to find my "lobster"...
1) Hygiene. Absolutely important. A girl does not want to be making out with a man and notices food particles from last night's romantic dinner wedged in between his teeth. It's a horror movie scene in my head. Hygiene also includes eye boogers. You've got to wash that face in the morning, babe (That goes for gals too, btw)I don't care if you look like Bradley Cooper or Brad Pitt. Eye boogers and bad breath in mid afternoon are a huge no-no. Brush, Rinse, and please wash your face in the morning! Extra bonus points if you shave your face. Although, a little stubble from time to time is kinda sexy.
2) Cleanliness. Okay, so I don't expect Mr. Right to be Mr. Clean, but keeping his sanctuary, aka the bathroom, tidy and clean should be a priority. No, it doesn't have to smell like Febreeze or a tropical poppurri sack (that's another issue in itself), but if I notice pubes all over the place, then yea, I definitely will be running out of that hell hole. Why is it disgusting? Because it's like finding a long hair in your meal at a restuarant. The plate looks appetizing, but what lurks inside is deceiving. This coincidently leads us to shaved hair particles on the sink counter. Clearly, shows someone can't clean after themselves or is just plain lazy. Add on top to the list, the overflowing trash can. Ew.
3) The Ugly Shirt. Men with bad taste in fashion. It happens alot if they don't have a good woman to tell them what flatters them. I remember one of my exes had this horrible shirt, I called the "cholo" shirt. It was horrid. Unfortunately for me, it was one of his favorite shirts. He wore it on our first date. When I noticed the shirt, I literally started to second guess the date with him. It made me feel uncomfortable. Glad I was able to look beyond that though.Do not underestimate the power of an ugly shirt. Do you hear me men? Do not. Sometimes you wonder why chicks don't dig you. Have you tried looking at what you were wearing? Ugly attire can kill your chances. If in doubt, ask the closest female around you. Usually ugly shirts on a guy is a sign that you will need to teach them how to dress...Do I really want to do that? Ah, I've got better things to do, like my makeup.
4) Sandals. Unless you are at the beach, please do not wear sandals. And if you do, please get a pedicure. I'm not sure why some guys tend to be so homophobic about getting their feet done. There's nothing wrong with it. Believe me, it's not fruity unless you are fruity, then in that case, you can go all out and get a manicure too. I want a guy that takes care of himself. I don't mean like getting his eyebrows waxed because that is kinda gay. But a man that realizes that he does need help trimming his toes from time to time. Nasty toes are unattractive (This goes for women too- no double standard here).
5) Overly-Sensitive Men. There's nothing wrong with being sensitive. Isn't it our dream to have a sensitive man who understands us?? Well, not if this man has more mood swings than me on my period. I thought I was a real softy, in general,but then I dated a man that cried more than me. I had no idea how to handle the pickle I was in. Punn intended. Did you get it? Now, I know there is a difference between an understanding and supportive man versus hyper-sensitive cry baby.
6) The Momma's Boy. Sure, it's cute, I guess. But not to me. Seriously, if a man places his mother before me, then there will be an issue. Having said this, he better not expect me to be his motherly replica washing his clothes, cooking, ironing, etc. For that, he could have stayed at his parent's home or hired a maid.
7) Ambition and Drive.. Honestly, a man has got to have that. He doesn't have to be a doctor or an entrepenuer to have it. It's really sexy to find a man that knows what he wants and focuses on the prize- whether it's winning me over or gaining an account at work. Shows alot of personality and determination. (This can go for anyone as well).
8) Fetishes. I'm alittle apprehensive on this topic. The world of fetishes is diverse, so I will mainly focus on the not so outlandish ones. Say for instance, role playing and costumes. That's as far as I will dive into. Anything else stays out of my bedroom. Freaks must not apply.
9) The Mute. Ok, I get annoyed when people don't communicate what they dislike or like. I suppose anyone can get frustrated under these circumstances. But it's worse when a man shows a lack of interest in expressing what they feel even if it's during sex. You ask "How does this feel? " And you get, "Okay." What the hell does that mean? "Okay", as in it's good or "Okay", as in I could be doing something better. WTF. Be proactive. Show us what you like. Take charge if we aren't doing it right. Believe me, we are quick studies.
I know there is so much more to list. But based on my time constraints and the fact that I'm falling asleep as I type, I must stop for tonight.
26. Single. Tired. Anti-complications. The end.
